Quickly run inside and fash your junk to the wife, as she is stunned in amazement of how large your stick out parts is. Grab her sharpest steak knife and run out to the garage. Now this next task is fairly dangerous so you might want to have one of your expendable children do it.
With a long radius swooping motion swing you wifes best knife at the bad tire. If you so happen to penetrate the tire you have accomplished removing the winter air from your tire.
Now sit back and crack open a cold Fresca or Tab and take a break.
Good luck, and if you chubb up before you show the wife your pecker she will never know what the hell you ar doing with her kitchen utensile.